landsend lge top 10 plus other dates

t rixon 5pts 148.5
m poppleton 5pts 95.6
n collier 5pts 90.9
n duckett 6.5pts 96.1
m pettifer 7pts 56.12
d hodgson 7.5 pts 62.15
r crandon 7.5 pts 57.14
a clark 8pts 139.1
s seager 8pts 76.12
b gullick 8pts 51.11
SILVERS TOP 4
b gullick 3pts 40.3
t page 4pts 34.00
m pettifer 5pts 24.1
d hodgson 6 pts 12.3
FLOAT ONLY DATES AND VENUES
may 8 viaduct
june 5 landsend
june 19 chilton trinity
july 10 landsend
august 7 chilton trinity
august 28 viaduct
60 quid entry which is peg fees paid up front and pools paid for the last match will be used if i am let down meaning pools will have to be paid again for the last match
TEAMS OF 4,S
september 4 chilton trinity
september 18 cider farm
october 2 acorn farm
october 16 landsend
november 6 landsend
november 20 viaduct
entry 144 quid which is peg fees up front, monies to be in by the end of may. teams from last year will get priority as it will be limited to 11 teams again
BOOK EARLY FOR BOTH TO AVOID DISSAPOINTMENT LOL

shop bitz part ?

over heard fabio chatting to martin alexander on monday morning, martin asks him how he did at the weekend, so fabsy runs him through his match, then admits he only weighed 7lb, martin says "fairplay fabsy you very nearly made that sound interesting". its a good job 5 people dnw,d as he would have been 55 th on the day but then 50th dont sound to good does it.
trig (craig edmunds)had a panic on monday night as he lost his hair thickening powder whilst out with his mate, turns out he dropped it in his car so his mate left it behind the shops neighbours wall for him to pick up on tues morning, that was certainley a missed opportunity , i wonder what he would have looked like with black groundbait dye on his head. he was in early on tues with another of his follically (i think thats how you spell it)challenged mates, philtones very own printing magnet niel mercer, i think his hair line has gone beyond lasers and fairey dust i think his best option has to be eyebrow extensions and back combing,or borrow some off the printing trades very own monkey boy as he has plenty.(you know who you are). any way him and trig were in the shop to pick up some casters as they were fishing a print trade corporate day at colemans cottage in essex, niel always asks some strange questions and today was no exception, he asked what effect all the heavy rain might have on the way the fish would react, HOW THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WOULD I KNOW but last time i looked they seemed quite happy to spend there lives in water so bit extra aint goin to hurt is it, and i think niel, colemans is taking part in a new pilot scheme where all the fish are being given the chance of a brollie if they need it.
then theres les(the chub)williams who is planning a mullet trip to a small harbour near tenby in west wales which is fed by a river off the mountains, he asked me if i thought the river would go into spate and colour the harbour making the mullet go off the feed, again, HOW THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WOULD I KNOW, i dont go to wales as i dont like paying 11 quid to get in, perhaps they aint so daft if our government were to start charging an access fee to get in to our country (and make it big)we may not get the same ammount of immigrants turning up for the free handouts.
still waiting for mr anon to come out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shop bitz but i forgot what number

talking to ed wynne last week he asked me what was going on over easter, i told him there was a pole only match at viaduct on good friday, he asked whens that then, thursday week says me , ok says ed ,i will let you , then he realises what he said ,oops to late, old age dont come alone, as i am beginning to find out lol.
next andy "the stig"gay was telling me about the bitterwell match on monday, in which he had done quite well in coming third, and it was a close match and one more fish may have won it for him, his dad turned up about 10 minutes from the end just in time to see andy cast out for what was the last cast of the match, after casting out he settles back and prays for one more bite, but never had a touch, the all out arrives and he starts to wind in only then does he realise he has caught the tree above his head on the cast ,and as its a running method the feeder has landed as close to the required spot as is possible for andy shame his hook was still up the tree and no one was more supprised than andy when he wound the line in and it went past him up into the tree. classic you just couldnt invent it, perhaps he should have gone to specsavers.
and poor old tim clark has had it tough this week he had to go into hospital for an op on his ear as he had a nasty infection in the inner ear, i,m not saying his ear sticks out now but he can actually see it out of the corner of his eye, and to make matters worse they virtually had to take the ear right off to do the job , shame the surgeon didnt use his level when he stitched it back on as he now has one ear lower than the other, he looks like an extra from the hills have eyes.
spare a thought for niel mercer who is finding things a bit tough of late, he may be bristol,s youngest millionaire but the birth of his first child has stretched him slightly, so to help things he felt the need to cancel his sky hd package , our hearts are bleeding matey lmfaro

post landsend

i had a phone call today from ben (fisk) at angling times asking for more information about the 2 perch for 12 lb that mat tomes caught at landsend on saturday to see if it was legit, i very nearly gave him shrimp heads number but i,m beginning to think old shrimpy is starting to believe those perch were all of 6 lb each, i reckon if ben would have phoned him mats name would be scratched on the drennan cup in no time at all , ilmfaro.
most of you will know how much i hate the four letter word that is ebay, its putting the nails in the coffin of all retail not just the tackle trade, you sad computer people need to get back out on the high street and keep retail where it belongs, and deont even start me on about x box live and psp,s how sad have you got to be to sit in a darkened room pretending to stab and shoot people in other towns and even countries, i cant think where our social problems are coming from can you(it aint real you saddo,s). thats the soap box done and dusted so back to the swear box, its a pound every time the E word is mentioned, when we get enough we are going to send mr mat tomes to to get more hair extensions , only this time due to the fact the eye brow ones failed they are going to attach them to the hairs on his ass and drag them up his back and over the top, and it should also help keep his back warm in the cold

shop bitz 7

that fabio has got a cheek . being our night watchman means he has keys for the shop, so he keeps his kit in the back of the shop. when he gets his kit before he goes fishing he makes his flask with the coffee and milk from the shop, so i thought it would be funny to replace the coffee with gravy granules but even thouigh i sabotaged the lights above the kettle he still spotted the ruse (bugger), trouble was i forgot to tell the gimp about it as i was off on monday to do some long overdue(20 years)DIY , the first 2 cups he made were drunk with no complaints from dave blakemore and eddie perkins(thats probably the end of the doughnuts), but tim clarke wasnt to be fooled and spat his out(he must have been a wife in a previous life).
also fabio has taken to wearing fi fi,s underwear and to be honest he aint got the ass to carry it off especially as he flashes them to anyone who shows the slightest interest, if i had known he was a cross dresser he would never got into the flat. trouble is fi fi wont flash his spandex boxers, and he must have been having a barry white afternoon on saturday as he had the music cranked right up so we couldnt hear the furniture or fabsy groaning.
poor mat tomes is really stuggling with his weight we can all remember him with a six pack and a full head of hair now all he has got is a lurpack and bum fluff (welcome to my world).
we all know how tight mark britton(psv)but cruel as well. read on , he was telling me that when he was young he used to shoot birds with an airgun then cut them up to get his pellets back. he did try and tell me that his dad would only give him one pellet at a time

ouch

we all know how much it hurts when we get a 14 or 16 barbless hook in the finger it certainly makes you wince, spare a thought for tony harding, he,s slipped and put a 10/0 straight into his pinkie, so it was pack up time and off to the hospital to let the local witch doctor dig it out. i dont think barbara(the sane and sensible side of the marriage), minded paying the 60 quid hospital fee as she said it was good that he knows what a small prick feels like lol

not again

even though everything was frozen solid a few of us decided to go to boyd valley lake to break the ice and have a knockup. as you only seem to have to clear to about 5mtrs to get some roach action it sounded like a good bet, the only thing that might stop us was the weather.
the forecast was for heavy overnight snow giving us several inches by the morning, the met office couldnt get it right again could they, quick answer yes, it started snowing at 5 pm tues and it was still coming down at 6 am weds morning, so a few txt,s and calls were made to let people know it was off, then back to sleep. to be honest if my van had been a front wheel drive and not rear i would probably have gone somewhere.
i phoned viaduct this afternoon to see if the league will be on this sunday and steve told me that the ice and snow was melting very quickly so he wouldnt be making a decision till thurs morning and he was sure there would be enough free water for a match on sunday or possibly the league. we will have to wait and see, but it looks as though the temps are rising so the weekend is looking good to wet a line with the chance of a few fish, i dont think my brain will stand another day without a fish.

they are mad in sa

firstly i would like to thank the person who commented on my last entry with some foul and unnecessary language , it wasnt needed, but if people do feel the need to use language like it perhaps they should have the courage to put there name to the comment, comments are all part of the fun as i enjoy the p taking as much as the next person , but i do think certain words shouldnt be posted for all to read, so from now on i will need to review all comments before posting. thanks whoever you were.

back to some fishy business i had an e mail from tony harding in south africa to let me know that his fishing bud had caught a good ragged tooth shark from a mark i fished when i was over with him. it ONLY weighed about 130 kg which is about 280 lb in english money . thats a right monster off the shore, he ended up landing the fish approx 1 km from where he hooked it , which is a feat in itself as the rocks tony and him were scrabbling over were dangerous enough then you have to grab it by the tail and try to man handle it onto the rocks, then once its unhooked and piccy,s taken you have to get it back into the water get in with it to support it whilst it regains its strenth or it may just sink to the bottom and drown, fair play to brandon ,i said they are all mad but at this rate he aint going to see his 19 birthday is he , see pics above.

apology

just a quick apology to the bathampton match secretary ,as it wasnt him who cancelled the canal match at the weekend . it seems the match was left in the capable hands(lol)of mr gilman and britt. i think the final decision must have been left to mr g , as the thought of spending extra money on shop bought blood and joker must have been to much to bear, so cancelling was a way of not spending to much money. darren is the only person i know who,s wallet is fitted with a combination lock, he,s even got the edge on mike nicholls for the part of scrooge in next years panto at the hippodrome, but then again mike may get it if it goes to age.
but i still dont agree with members of the public allegedly selling bait on the bank, perhaps if they were to register there home adress,s as a business adress it would be ok

teams of 4 southwest

finally got the dates and venues sorted for the 2010 league
5/9/2010 trinity waters draw 9 fish 10.30 to 4
19/9/2010 cider farm draw 9 fish 10.30 to 4
3/10/2010 avalon draw 9 fish 10.30 to 4
24/10/2010 landsend draw 8.30 fish 10 to 3.30
7/11/2010 bullocks draw 8.30 fish 10 to 3.30
21/11/2010 viaduct draw 8.30 fish 10 to 3.30
league fee,s £144 per team to be paid before the end of june 2010
pools on the day £100 per team compulsory £20 goes to the team payout at the end , the £80 left to be paid out in full on the day. all people interested ring me at the shop for more details
avon angling 01179517250

shop bitz part 6

some people got a cheek, fabio brought a float back on monday as it had a hole in the base , being peacock it wouldnt have mattered as it dont take on water, but he wasnt having any of it and wanted it changed i wouldnt mind but he hadnt even paid for it yet cos his giro dont come till thursday, so the rest of the tax payers in the shop had a whip round and paid for it.
adrian jeffrey went to see tom jones at the weekend and said it was really good and he was enjoying it that was until his lighter ran out of fuel and tom threw his under crackers back as they were slightly soiled.
judith is still doing well she is on her third diet in three weeks and so far she has managed to put on one pound each week i think she should sue.
sounds like the whole nicholls family has gone down with e coli , i really think it is about time brenda threw out the family cook book
finally pete notten took the scenic route to lake 4 at landsend, he was told to walk past the match lake go through the gate and turn right shame nobody told him to go through the second cos if it wasnt for dean asking him where the fxxx he thought he was going i dont think he would have stopped till he got to wedmore, but he did get as far as the top of the hill though, and i did promise not to mention it , yea right ,.wot a winker

shop bitz part 5

cant believe the cheek of some people. a certain psv rent boy aka darren north was in the shop commenting on what a good freebie it was on the AT last week. it was an avanti method feeder and mould(rec retail 7.99 lol winkers preston is only 4.98 for mould and feeder), and then he asks me how to use it, ooh wonder what i told him, cant say here cos my mum reads this!!!!!!!!
i, m still having a few problems with the coffin dodgers. firstly mr nicholls, he repaired a pole section of mine as an experiment in carbon repairs with a view to doing repairs properly but after doing it he quickly realised that it wasnt financially viable, any way when doing repairs the sections have to be held straight , now i aint quite sure how he did it cos the repair was nice and straight but he just had to apologise for the ammount of vaseline that was still all over the section hmmm i wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
another oldy namely adrian jeffery proudly announced that he was off to a tom jones concert shortly , and he even admitted to buying the tickets, and they try and tell us that the male menopause is just a myth ,if they need proof just get a doctor to spend an afternoon in the shop and all will be confirmed.
congrats to my wife judith who has been on a asda diet for 2 weeks now , she is doing really well cos she has only put 1 pound on, perhaps tesco will be next .
cant go without mentioning fabio , after not doing to well on the river at the weekend it could be that he was to weak after having a barry white night with fi fi on saturday , now as he isnt seeing her tonite he has taken 2 porno dvd,s someone dropped in today so he can have a barry white night on his own (know what i mean). so it will be over with quick time and so he shouldnt be so tired tomorrow at landsend, time will tell.
i hope pete wild is on the mend as he came in last friday complaining of a cracked ring(nasty)

shop bitz part 4

i,m starting to worry about the older anglers coming into the shop. it hit home today when ed wynne was chatting to gus manton about the size of the hemp and commented on the quality of it and i must say it is huge but it wont split, any way after guy left the shop ed walked over to an open sack grabbed a handful and said what lovely hemp it was , shame really as it was a sack of 4mm coarse pellets, i think ed ought to consider suing the opticians in his local pound shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trig(aka craig edmunds)came in today on his way back from his latest laser treatment he has now started with some liquid the clinic gave him , he has to use a syringe to put about 2 ml on twice a day so he thought he would do the first dose in the shop , problem was it had a particularly stubborn child resistant lid on it which he failed to remove so i had to do it so after squirting it on his head he sat down to let it take effect trouble i think it was made of acetone and cow piss judging by the smell. then dean came in and decided that it was time for the second treatment, and it wasnt a pretty site that of dean giving trig a head masage cos trig looked to be really enjoying it . he must have a soft spot for dean after the ball licking incident.
nice to see fabs and fi fi had a good time on the isle of wight last weekend shame it was cut short when they were caught dancing naked around a rams head in a sechluded piece of woodland and they got themselves evicted on the first night lol

news on the one

good news fabio has let the budgie out . it only took the poor little thing an hour and a quarter to pluck up the courage to come out of the cage , and then she could only fly down onto the floor, where fabsy had to unhook it cos her claws got stuck in the carpet. fabio is promising to let her out every day now so she can build her strenth up . so the campaign worked lol

bitz from the shop part 2

a quick plea to fi fi from fabio sorry not a plea but he is to scared to ask why cant he keep his tackle in your cupboard out the back cos he dont seem to be up to carrying his kit up the stairs to the flat his age must be catching up.lol. wait till the gimp see,s it all out the back he will go mad ha ha i love it, nothing to do with the shop but judith was talking to our slightly potty (blonde) daughter the other day and the channel tunnel came up in conversation , lauren said she wouldnt mind going through it judith asked her why and she explained it would be good to see all the fish cos she thought ti was a glass tunnel, i dont know where she came from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it turns out that tim ford has won the caption competition in the pole fishing mag, seems he has won a years supply of sensas mullet 3000 should go down a bomb this weekend at newbridge. he hasnt told me yet what the caption says yet it better not be to bad as i can remember a lot more about ireland than he probably can.
anyway off to bullocks this weekend for the charlie barnes and tom thick match i cant wait to give tom a good moaning just like he does to everyone else

did i forget

sorry i forgot to mention that tim clark had a twenty one pound carp last wednesday at viaduct. if you do happen to see him i have no doubt that he will only to pleased to relive the conquest as i have captured the beast about 20 times in the shop since that day. also i would like to congratulate phil(fabian)harding on his new addition to his family, bob the bread price has given him a budgie, but i am a bit concerned for the dirds safety as i saw him going up to the flat with a basting tray and a packet of sage and onion